Then I get a message from my Mom to call her back and it's not good news. I already knew...it was going to be about my cousin. My cousin, N, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in May. It had already spread to his bones and his brain. He was told chemotherapy would prolong his life up to 6 months. He passed away yesterday afternoon at 4pm Hawaii time, 6pm my time. At 6pm yesterday, I was at my sons cub scout den meeting having fun decorating pumpkins and chit chatting with the other parents. At 6pm yesterday, I was enjoying life and thanking God for His blessings. At 6pm yesterday my Aunt walked into my cousins room to find her son passed away. At 6pm yesterday my cousins wife was told her husband, her soul mate, her best friend, was dead. My cousin N is about 15 years older than me. The Pacific Ocean always separated us. Yet I have very fond memories of him, his wife, his two sisters and their families. N and his wife always made time for me and my sister whenever we were in Hawaii. N took us out in his fishing boat to go snorkelling every time we were in Hawaii. He would go fishing several times during our vacation because he knew that my sister and I LOVED all kinds of seafood. He would cook everything for us! And it was SOOOOOO delicious! He made fresh ahi poke, lomi lomi salmon, and sashimi. Not everyone can make these dishes. You gotta have skills to make them right. And he had skills! This one hits my heart hard. We were pretty close. He is the first of my immediate cousins to pass away.
My heart also hurts because I do not know if he believed in God and Jesus Christ. I prayed for him and his family several times over the last few months. I wanted to call him and have a conversation with him, but I didn't. Instead I made him a blanket and sent it to him. I included a brief note saying that as i made each tie along the fringe of the blanket, I said a prayer to God for him and his family. I told him how my daughter, his 5 yo niece tied the last 5 knots and said her own prayers for him, a person she had never met. Her 5 prayers were as follows:
1- That God heals his body
2- That he knows that Jesus is his Savior
3- That he knows that Jesus loves him
4- That he know that I love him
5- That he feels better.
I was hoping that our blanket and the message we wrote him would open his heart to God, if it wasn't already open. But I fear that I didn't get to him in time. We sent the blanket out about a week ago. So my tears shed today were for the loss of my cousin, but also tears of regret and anger at myself for not being brave enough to share God's Word with him and his family sooner. I can only hope and pray that God took care of that for me and my cousin in His Time and His Way.
After all the craziness with my son this week and the news of my cousins passing, I feel physically and spiritually depleted. So I am taking the rest of the week off. No school work, no co-op classes, no gymnastics classes, no volunteering. Just time in prayer, time in God's Word, and time with family. Afterall, aren't those the most important things in life?
Now that all the "bad" stuff is out....let me not forget to mention the "good" stuff. Even in tough times God still continues to bless me and my family.
His Love Covers Me Blanket Ministries received another request for 100 little kids blankets for Operation Christmas Child through Maranatha Chapel a few days ago. When we got this request, we were totally out of fabric. We had used all the fabric we had to complete 100 blankets for Rady Children's Hospital in San Diego just the week before. On Sunday, my family bought enough fabric to make 40 of the blankets. I told God, I know He will provide the rest. And He did! Through the generosity of Kalin and Angel Blanket Ministries (www.AngelBlanketMinistries.org) . She sent us enough fabric to cover the remaining 60 blankets and then some! I came home yesterday afternoon to see two HUGE boxes on my front door step. And all the prints she sent are exactly the right kind of colors and themes we need...all kids ones! God is amazing in how HE provides exactly what is needed and the exact right time. These blankets need to be made and turned in the beginning of November! So we have just the right amount of time to get the completed. Whooohoooo!
Praise God that our home in Austin, TX finally sold and the closing date was on Monday! And the money is already in the bank. Now we can use the money we used to pay out in mortgage to tithe more to church, to spend more on donating to various causes, to save for the future and to fix up a few things around our San Diego home.
Praise God for the 3% raise my husband received for this coming year. In an economy such as ours and in a industry such as what he is in, receiving a considerable raise like this is hard to come by. Guess that means I now have 3% more to spend on His Love Covers Me Blanket Ministries..yay!
Praise God for my being able to spend a whole weekend worshipping and praising Him with friends from San Diego Bible Church and 9000 other women in Christ at the Beth Moore Livingproof Live event in Long Beach this past weekend. Hearing 9000 women singing praises to God must have been such a "sweet, sweet, sound" to God's ears in Heaven :). I know it was an amazing sound to me! And Beth Moore was her typical uplifting and funny self....GURLFRIEND! What made it an even more special weekend was the my sister and Mom were able to join me! That was the first time all three of us attended an event in faith together.
Praise God! Praise God! While I know my flesh is weak today, I know GOD will strengthen me tomorrow and everyday after that!
Blessings,
Sandra
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